Bonus episode with chat about the Episode IX teaser trailer. How Chewbacca got his medals, hope for the trash compactor monster, who’s the real villain of the saga, and the most awkward scene from Forrest Gump all make appearances.
We rank the top 10 starships of Star Wars. Along the way we wonder is the T-1000 hiding in Ep. I, does Watto only accept Deutsche Marks, whom do we “ship” Lobot with? This is the episode “who crawled through a river of s**t and came out clean on the other side.”
Chris, Scott, and the computer from Willy Wonka try to come up with the Ep. IX title before launching into the Star Wars Academy Awards. Who’s the best supporting actress in Star Wars? Best Editing? Worst Hair? Why does our Bane impression get worse each month? We’re all Oscar and no Grouch on this exciting episode.
Scott and Chris pass out Valentines to members of the Jedi Council before looking at the second half of A New Hope. What made Porkins crash? Should Cousin Eddie have flown in the Death Star Attack? Is Gen. Dodonna the Patton of the Rebel Alliance? Dive head first into this trash compactor of an episode.
The first half of A New Hope to celebrate the new year. Scott has questions about the droid lineup, and Chris figures out who has a death stick habit. Do Imperial officers know how to blink? Will the Jawas let R2 use his Swingline stapler? Is Luke watching scrambled Cinemax? These questions and more make it to our escape pod — “Look sir! We Serve Droids!”
Chris and Scott play festive Star Wars games and discuss the Star Wars Holiday Special. We wonder at Gormaanda’s interesting cooking technique, Chewie’s perverted dad, and Wookiee pagan rituals. Gifts are exchanged, songs are sung, and nog is drunk in the best Life Day celebration ever.
We discuss the second half of Return of the Jedi. After playing a Thanksgiving game, we wonder if the Rebels called Lando’s references, what’s happening in the the Ewok Public Library, and can the Ewok witch-doctor cure the plague? Chris discovers a Double Agent Mustache and Scott thinks a Tri-Lamb is piloting the scout walker. There’s always a bigger twig!
We look back at the first half of Return of the Jedi. How kinky is Jabba’s Palace? How stinky is Bib Fortuna? Could Ellen Ripley have killed the Emperor? What are the best Star Wars monsters, and could Luke have been a professional wrestler? This is the episode with no safeword.
Scott and Chris are joined by fanthatracks.com’s Mark Newbold and they pick what Star Wars droids they’d want in a doomsday bunker. Scott and Chris go on to discuss their favorite and least favorite droids. Is Lobot a droid? Is Yoda our droid-racist grandpa? Did we watch the first episode of the Droids cartoon? And did Chris find the most terrifying droid in Star Wars? This is the episode we’ve been carrying around in our rusty innards.
Scott & Chris invent a new game that crosses the streams before discussing Rogue One. How many pieces of flair does Forest Whitaker wear? Why are the Rebels flying a forklift? Why do we spend so much time talking about Hook? All this and more as this episode flows through Rogue One like lava through Vader’s House.
We Serve Droids 
